Light and Dark

This world is full of light and dark or heavy and light which ever way you feel like putting. There is the literal sense of the night sky and the day sky or a feather and a car but it is also in other things.

Everyday there is life and death. Sometimes death can be light. Someone going home to be with the Father or a pet being put out of agony. But it can also be very dark. Like what happened in Colorado in the wee hours this morning.

When things like what happened in Colorado happen it makes people reflect on their lives and for a few moments think of all the things they are thankful for instead of all the things they want to change. I don't want to dwell on what happened today in Colorado. I feel like the news does that enough and I wish only peace and comfort for the victims and their families and for the person responsible to get the proper help that they need. Repeating everything that has already been said is only making the people that already lived it have to re-live it again. That is not fair to make them re-live a horrific moment in their lives just for the sake of ratings.

So onto the light.

Today is my cousin's 8th birthday. I spent Wednesday and Thursday with him and his sister. Wednesday we went to see the movie Brave and Thursday we went skating at Roller World. It is interesting for me to see him grow. Two summers ago I watched him and his sister for the summer. He was turning 6 that year and going into first grade. Now he is turning 8 and going into 3rd grade. Crazy how times flies by you. He and his sister haven't had the easiest past 3 years. But despite all the obstacles he has had to face he is still an 8 year old boy. He loves Avengers, baseball, reading, roller blading, and Justin Timberlake (yeah, that last one is my fault). He has an imagination that runs wild. He loves to tell stories and he will one day, be a pro baseball player and rockstar and make a lot of money (at least that is what he told me the last time I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up). I love talking to him because his imagination is so extensive and we are a lot alike. I swear when I would watch him play baseball, it was like looking at a mini me in the outfield because, he was the kid spinning in circles singing his own little tune and messing with his hat. He is a great kid and I am excited to see who he grows into being as he gets older.

The world is filled with light and dark or heavy and light.

Everyday something dark/heavy happens. Whether it makes the news or not it still happens. Whether it is in Colorado, Mexico, Pakistan, or Texas it happens. It is horrible and I do not like that every single day there is hate and violence in this world and that people think it is okay.

On the flip side, everyday something light happens. There is a little hope brought into this world. Whether it is an 8 year old's birthday or the birth of a beautiful baby girl last week. Everyday something happens to give me hope for a better tomorrow. Another year on this Earth to make it a better place. Another child brought into this world to two of the most loving and accepting people I have ever had the privilege of calling friends. (Miss Delia you are one lucky lady to have Rob and Caroline as your mama and daddy. They will love you to the ends of the Earth and back and give you the most amazing home you could ever thank God for.)

I hope that one day the light will cover the dark. That we will someday see that violence, hate, intolerance, racism, discrimination, and bigotry will get us no where good in life. I hope that we can see that love, acceptance, peace, grace, mercy, and hope are the greatest things we can give to each other. Where does hate take you? No where good. But, hope soars across the skies and the oceans like a rainbow after a storm with vibrant colors only seen by the heart.

I hope peace and acceptance is brought to those who need it. I hope love, grace, mercy, and hope are found to those who have been searching for it.

When dark things happen. When the only thing on television is the horrors that people do to each other, try to find something light. Whether it is the story of someone doing something selfless or a picture or a puppy. Or an 8 year old's birthday or the birth of a beautiful baby. There is so much good happening in the world. Go find it. And keep those who are stuck in darkness for whatever reason close to your hearts and prayers for they need them just as much or more than any one else.

I need to stop avoiding my journal

I've been avoiding my journal. Not this but my small one. The one that I have as half prayer and half just regular journal. I know if I get it out I'll have to unload all that has happened in a more real sense than I have done so far. I guess I can't ignore it forever. I have so many thoughts going on in my head that it is driving me crazy and I have to get them out or I'll go crazy.

I haven't found a job and I knew coming home the likelihood of my finding one was slim to none. I have applied at every place in the area and gotten 2 rejections so far. But it's okay I'll get through it.

Now I'm in the car almost to Houston with my mom. She's dragging me on this work trip. I will get paid which is nice but I wasn't really given an option. I was just told I was going. But whatever it'll be fine and I'll survive.

I'm surprised at how much I miss Vista. I really miss being there. But I know I made the right decision. I was no good to anyone without getting a descent amount of sleep. I can only hope and pray that it is in my plans for the future to return and show that not only do I want to be there but also that I can be the best counselor I can be. I do miss it a lot. I miss the people and the community and the scenery. But like I said I know it was all for the best and I can hope to one day return.

So the GPS is saying we should be at our hotel by 6:58 and it is 6:20 now so maybe I should put my computer up so I don't have to hassle with it when we get there. It's a 2 day trip. We are working Monday and Tuesday and leaving Tuesday evening. Hopefully sometime before 6 (or even 5 for that matter) but either way I'll survive 2 days and getting paid even if I would rather not have to come. It'll be fine. Just got to keep a positive attitude and my head above water.

I really miss Switchfoot. I realize this is a very random thing to say since it really seems to have nothing to do with what I've typed above but it's true. I always feel so much better after I see them. We saw them in April but I really want to see them now. I guess I got spoiled last summer getting to see them 3 times. It's pretty amazing that they have been my favorite band for almost 10 years and their music has never gotten old to me. Even the old stuff. I still listen to The Beautiful Letdown when I get really stressed or depressed. There is something about hearing their music that makes me relax. I can feel my whole body relax when I put on their music. They are great and I won't go on a tangent on how much I love them and how much they mean to me because I do that a lot and I'm pretty sure most people are tired of it.

I guess tonight I'll try and remember to journal. I need to stop avoiding the inevitable and just suck it up and write. Write to God and write for me. It'll be healthy to let all these thoughts out of my head.