I love my job but dealing with snotty kids who won't listen and are ridiculously disrespectful takes it's tole on me. Yesterday I had a girl punch me in the back twice for no reason (last year the same girl marked on my signed Anberlin shirt) and she is in 6th grade! How an 11 year old thinks that's okay I will never understand but you can bet if my kid ever did that to any adult or kid it will be one of the last things they ever do. I am amazing at the things that come out of their mouths, some of the meanest things in the world they say to each other, to me, to their teachers, and to Maria and Brittany. I don't get why their parents won't discipline them. But that's another issue all in it's self.
Maria asked me Friday how much I loved music and I couldn't give her answer because I couldn't put it into words. I need to stop doing what my dad and Gram want me to do and start doing what I want. They want me to get my teaching degree so that I can "secure myself a job" but I don't want to teach. I want to produce music. I want to work with people that share the same passion and love for music that I do. I want to be apart of an album that will change some one's life just like The Beautiful Letdown did for me. It's a big dream and a very hard industry to get into and be successful in but it's what I want to do. My dad and Gram can get over themselves because I'm not going to follow in Gram's footsteps and be a teacher. They are fine with Sommer going into finance so they need to be fine with me going into music.
I'm tired of being depressed and feeling alone. I'm tired of hating school and having to force myself to go to school. I want to talk to my friends more than once every few months and I want to see them more than a few times a year. I miss having a group of friends I could always call and I could always hang out with. I miss feeling like people want to hang out with me instead of someone they are hanging out with because they feel that they have to hang out.
I'll get off my soap box now, but really, who's going to read this anyway?