I need to stop avoiding my journal

I've been avoiding my journal. Not this but my small one. The one that I have as half prayer and half just regular journal. I know if I get it out I'll have to unload all that has happened in a more real sense than I have done so far. I guess I can't ignore it forever. I have so many thoughts going on in my head that it is driving me crazy and I have to get them out or I'll go crazy.

I haven't found a job and I knew coming home the likelihood of my finding one was slim to none. I have applied at every place in the area and gotten 2 rejections so far. But it's okay I'll get through it.

Now I'm in the car almost to Houston with my mom. She's dragging me on this work trip. I will get paid which is nice but I wasn't really given an option. I was just told I was going. But whatever it'll be fine and I'll survive.

I'm surprised at how much I miss Vista. I really miss being there. But I know I made the right decision. I was no good to anyone without getting a descent amount of sleep. I can only hope and pray that it is in my plans for the future to return and show that not only do I want to be there but also that I can be the best counselor I can be. I do miss it a lot. I miss the people and the community and the scenery. But like I said I know it was all for the best and I can hope to one day return.

So the GPS is saying we should be at our hotel by 6:58 and it is 6:20 now so maybe I should put my computer up so I don't have to hassle with it when we get there. It's a 2 day trip. We are working Monday and Tuesday and leaving Tuesday evening. Hopefully sometime before 6 (or even 5 for that matter) but either way I'll survive 2 days and getting paid even if I would rather not have to come. It'll be fine. Just got to keep a positive attitude and my head above water.

I really miss Switchfoot. I realize this is a very random thing to say since it really seems to have nothing to do with what I've typed above but it's true. I always feel so much better after I see them. We saw them in April but I really want to see them now. I guess I got spoiled last summer getting to see them 3 times. It's pretty amazing that they have been my favorite band for almost 10 years and their music has never gotten old to me. Even the old stuff. I still listen to The Beautiful Letdown when I get really stressed or depressed. There is something about hearing their music that makes me relax. I can feel my whole body relax when I put on their music. They are great and I won't go on a tangent on how much I love them and how much they mean to me because I do that a lot and I'm pretty sure most people are tired of it.

I guess tonight I'll try and remember to journal. I need to stop avoiding the inevitable and just suck it up and write. Write to God and write for me. It'll be healthy to let all these thoughts out of my head.