7 years and a Savior.

This picture turned 7 years old Saturday. This picture saved my life 7 years ago. You see I was in a really dark place in my life. I was extremely depressed and couldn't find my way out. Then Jon Foreman (pictured above) of Switchfoot wore this shirt with a funny saying at a concert and this photo was posted on their myspace page with a link to a story by the same title as the shirt. I went and read the story and was moved. I saw myself in the story. The story is about a girl named Renee and she was suffering from depression, addiction, self-injury, and had attempted suicide. The story was about the 5 day rehab her friends had put together before she could enter treatment. It was about the love that surrounded her and how her friends took her in and loved on her and made her realize her worth and that she was not alone. They didn't judge her or tell her she was a horrible person. They helped her. 

7 years ago a movement was started unintentionally. 7 years ago a musician wore a shirt on stage and told people to read a story because it was a story that needed to be shared with the world. 7 years ago a MySpace page was created to give people updates on Renee's recovery and it gave people hope. 7 years ago Renee Yohe was at the darkest point in her life and she got out. She made it through and she inspired people on the way. 7 years ago I was 17 and so close to giving up I had to remove sharp objects from my room and I avoided looking at the medicine cabinet. But then I read this story and I changed my mind. I thought that if Renee could get through all these things and survive and come out a better person so could I. So I kept going. I kept reading the story and listening to Switchfoot and I got better. Each day I got a little closer to the end of the tunnel and I would eventually be completely on the other side. 7 years ago To Write Love On Her Arms, Switchfoot, and my best friend Ericka saved my life. I can honestly say that I would not be here today if it were not for them. They gave me hope and the strength to survive. 7 years ago I didn't want to be alive. 7 years ago I wanted to give up and stop trying. But 7 years ago Renee started to fight. 7 years ago Renee decided to live and get help. 7 years ago Renee's story showed me that I can go on, that I can survive, that this world is beautiful and that there is so much more living to be done. Thank you Renee Yohe, Jamie Tworkowski, To Write Love On Her Arms, Jon Foreman, Ericka Mason, and Switchfoot. I don't know where I would be with out all of you.

Yesterday was Easter. Yesterday we celebrated the Savior who gave his life for ours. He is Risen. He is King. He gave his life for me so that I could live with him eternally. That is a remarkable and beautiful thing that I am still trying to wrap my head around. Why would he do that for me? It's incredibly overwhelming and a hard concept to grasp. Why? Why does he want me? I kept asking. Then I was reminded why. I lead a LIFEgroup in the student ministry at FOTP. I absolutely love doing it. I love the girls and I love hanging out with them. I love being a positive influence in their lives. But, I always had the doubt in the back of my mind that I wasn't doing them any good. But then last Wednesday I got to have one of the most amazing honors I could have ever gotten. One of my girls asked me to help baptize her. Wow! I was so honored and blessed that she wanted me to be apart of it. It was an amazing thing. I have watched this girl change and grow so much these last few months. I had hoped that I was having a positive affect on her life and this definitely helped me see that. Then another girl who isn't even in the life group I lead told me she looked up to me. It was an honor and scary at the same time. It is wonderful to know that I am being used to further the kingdom of God.

There is a beauty in the fact that TWLOHA day and Easter happened to be back to back this year. How wonderful to celebrate life given to me in an overwhelmingly beautiful weekend.

So this weekend I celebrated the ones that saved my life. My wonderful Savior who gave his life for me so that I could live and show others how wonderful he is. And To Write Love On Her Arms, the organization that gave me hope when I literally had none. So thank you my wonderful Father in Heaven for sending your son for me and thank you To Write Love On Her Arms for showing me there is light at the end of the tunnel.